


The Wedding Ringer

by SincerelyMee



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: A lot of Albert because I love him, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And Finch, And JoJo, Badass Sarah Jacobs (Newsies), Bisexual David Jacobs, Bisexual Jack Kelly, Dave and Race are gonna be best buddies, David Jacobs Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Idiots in Love, Jack being Jack, M/M, Medda Larkin Being A Good Mom, Race Is An Actual Mess, Slow Burn, and friends, bi disasters, disasters in general, really really slow burning, they are adults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyMee/pseuds/SincerelyMee
Summary: In two months, David Jacobs will marry the woman of his dreams, but the problem is that he has no best man for the occasion. Desperate, David hires a company that specializes in providing groomsmen for newlyweds who have no friends.
Relationships: Albert Dasilva e Racetrack Higgins, Crutchie & David Jacobs, Crutchie & Jack Kelly, Crutchie & Racetrack Higgins, Crutchie/Finch (Newsies), David Jacobs & Les Jacobs, David Jacobs & Sarah Jacobs, David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, David Jacobs/Katherine Plumber, Jack Kelly & Medda Larkin, Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly, Racetrack Higgins & Jojo (Newsies), Sarah Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Sarah Jacobs/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Kudos: 10





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic on this site, and also the first time I write in English, so I'm sorry for any mistake, I had this idea because of the comedy film of the same name, obviously I don't own either the film or the artwork that is Newsies, here's a little taste, I hope you like it.

David held the phone tighter to his ear.

He held his breath as the waiting tones on the other end of the line seemed louder and louder.

"Hello?"— A male voice asked, sounding confused.

David took a deep breath, hoping that the situation seemed less pathetic to the boy on the phone than it seemed in his mind.

 _"Oh, hi, uh, Seth? " —_ he asked, turning in the swivel chair he was on to face the window.

_"Yes?" — replied Seth._

_"It´s David"_ — tried the boy, David didn't think he could be more embarrassed, until he realized that the boy really had no idea who he was.

 _"What David? "_ — David should have given up with that answer.

He don't.

He's turned back to his desk, looking at the Broadway posters that covered the wall in front of him, twisting the phone cord with his hands, a nervous act that Esther Jacobs, his mother, would disapprove of if she could see. Before answer.

_"You know, David Jacobs, the boy from Poland? "_

_"David Jacobs! Hey dude! How long without talking!"_

He blew out the breath he had caught without even realizing it, taking a sip from his coffee cup before continuing.

_“I know it's been a while, but actually I'm calling because I have… some great news… I'm getting married! "_

_"This is great man, congratulations!" — Seth replied, his voice showed a certain degree of happiness, but still confusion._

_"In fact_ \- David amended — _I was wondering if you would want to ... be my best man ... maybe? "_ finished.

The line was silent for a moment. David resisted the urge to hang up the phone and pretend that this conversation never happened, but Seth was his last option on a very short list of lifeless friends he had in his life, and he was nothing short of a desperate man.

_"Man, I´m going to have to be honest with you — Seth answered finally — This is kind of weird, we´re not really that close" — The man on the other end of the line really seemed to be choosing the words , trying not to hurt the other guy. _

David knew he was right, they didn't really have that level or any level of proximity.

Even so, he appealed one last time.

_"Hey well what about that trip to the Carlsbad Caves?"_

_"This was a really cool trip! .. that the whole class was ... I'm sorry David but I really can't help you with that."_

After that the call ended very quickly.


	2. The poor guy's head is panicking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually survived

David shouldn't have lied, if he had just told his fiancee that he didn't have any friends who could occupy the best man position, or any friends in general, she probably would have understood, but damn, he was about to marry Katherine Pulitzer , the last thing he needed was for her to discover that he was a 25 year old man, who had never managed to make a friend in his life, what did that say about his ability to relate to someone? Or even to live in society? Of course he had Sarah, but she is his older sister, he needed to remember, of course she loved him, but she didn't count as a friend , and she's also one of Katherine's own bridesmaids, and if Sarah couldn't be considered, a much less could his 18-year-old brother Les but, at least David could use he as a best man.

So at least one of them would be a real person.

Look, he didn't want to invent friends, and he certainly isn't proud of the names he gave them.

It turns out that above all, David was a terrible liar, when Katherine pressed him for the name of his best friend he may could have say the name of his childhood hero, a cartoon cowboy, who was called Jack Kelly, which to be fair was his best friend in childhood, even if only in his mind.

And she had been so happy to hear a name, sending it to Sean Conlon, her ceremonialist, so quickly, that David didn't even have time to regret the lie before he found himself having to come up with a series of facts to cover it up. That's how Jack Kelly was formed, David's childhood friend who liked to dress up as a Cowboy whe _n they were younger "He went everywhere with a cowboy hat and a red scarf" he said, "Always speaking of going to Santa Fé, he said that the big city was not his thing"_ he said, forming an elaborate story about how as soon as "friend" turned 18, he took a bus and went to Santa Fé, David insisted that they were still talking, that he was excited to be the best man, that he was going to New York in time for the wedding, and saw the smile on Katherine's face get brighter and brighter.

The other "friends" emerged from there, and David had to admit, whenever she asked for names, his mind couldn't do more than instant associations with things seen at the time, Specs emerged from an optics store in front of the restaurant where they tried the wedding buffet, Racetrack is created because horse race was broadcast on some channel on the office TV, Finch emerged of the bird that slept in the window of the hall they visited for reception, Jojo arose when it was pointed out that all the names he had given so far were nicknames. " _Was it a thing between you and your friends dear? Nicknames? "_ And on a less inspired note, Les twisted his foot playing Basketball and had to walk with a crutch for a whole week, that must have stayed in David's head because Crutchie came up the next time she asked. 

In this way David had managed to convince the bride that he had 10 friends (whom she had never met) to accompany her manys bridesmaids.

And so he was sitting on a couch, being stared at by his fiancee, her mother and Sean Conlon, all with excited (and intimidating) looks when asked for confirmation from their groomsmen.

— Love, did you receive the confirmations? — his bride's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

— Not yet sweetie, I told you how the boys are, always taking until the last minute. — He replied, looking from one face to the other, was it his impression or was he sweating?

Sean Conlon looked at him, eyes narrowing.

— Can't you at least name the last two dear? — Sean asked, a friendly smile that to David seemed a little forced.

— I'm just… — started — Waiting for their confirmation, I don't mean that they are coming and they ended up not coming.

— But the others are confirmed right? Jack, Race, and everyone else? — Katherine asked, standing well in front of him as she looked into his eyes.

David swallowed, looked away before saying.

— Of course, they couldn't be more anxious.

— Great! — Katherine clapped her hands in excitement before turning to her mother, arguing about flower arrangements, napkins, or something else that David in his panic was unable to retain.

Conlon was still looking at him.

The bigger man nodded, indicating the other side of the room, before walking over there, clearly waiting for David to follow. Looking over his shoulder to see if Katherine or the mother noticed the movement, he followed him. He stopped in front of Sean, who crossed his arms in front of his chest (David couldn't help but notice how strong the other man was, even in an opaque-colored cashmere sweater),

He waited for the other to start talking.

Sean looked around before grabbing David by the collar of his navy blue sweatshirt

— Unless you intend to run away, you are in big trouble, big boy — he whispered so that to David it sounded very threatening.

— I don't know if I understand — David replied, his voice sounding 3 octaves lower than it should have been, for a guy at least 20 centimeters shorter than him, Conlon managed to be the most intimidating person he had ever met.

— Come on, Jacobs cuts the theater, the names of yours groomsmens seem to have come out of the fucking sesame village.

— She is going to leave me, don't tell her! - begged.

— She'll find out when they don't show up at the wedding! Are some of them real at least? — Asked, loosening the collar that David only realized he still held.

— My brother, Les. — he replied, lowering his head, knowing how pathetic it sounded.

— Fuck — was the only answer.

— Look, everything has flown since I asked for her hand! I hardly sleep, I don't eat for months, I just want to see her happy! I didn't want to lie, but when I saw it it had already happened and now I have no idea how to get out of this!

— Okay, I understand, you're pathetic.

That's the obvious thing to say, David thought, but he was too intimidated by the presence that the shorter man revealed himself to say.

Sean sighed before continuing.

— Ok I'll help you. Say I sent you.

David's eyes widened when the other took a card out of his pocket before handing it to David, turning to the two brown-haired women who were looking at ornaments, in a tone that David could now see as falsely Tall and Harmless.

— The arrangement of the tres beau bouquet is fabulous!

David looked at the card in his hands, it said only;

**´´Groomsmen.ltda**

**Irving Hall**

**Meadowlark Street with 92´´**

Well, he literally had nothing to lose.

  
  



	3. The poor guy's head is panicking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually survived

David não deveria ter mentido, se ele tivesse acabado de dizer a sua noiva que não tinha nenhum amigo que pudesse ocupar a posição de padrinho, ou quaisquer amigos em geral, ela provavelmente teria entendido, mas caramba, ele estava prestes a se casar Katherine Pulitzer, a última coisa que ele precisava era que ela descobrisse que ele era um homem de 25 anos, que nunca havia conseguido fazer um amigo na vida, o que isso dizia sobre sua capacidade de se relacionar com alguém? Ou mesmo para viver em sociedade? Claro que ele tinha Sarah, mas ela é sua irmã mais velha, ele precisava se lembrar, é claro que ela o amava, mas ela não contava como um amigo, e ela também é uma das damas de honra de Katherine, e se Sarah não poderia ser considerado, muito menos poderia seu irmão Les de 18 anos, mas, pelo menos David poderia usá-lo como um padrinho.

Portanto, pelo menos um deles seria uma pessoa real.

Olha, ele não queria inventar amigos e certamente não se orgulha dos nomes que deu a eles. Acontece que, acima de tudo, David era um péssimo mentiroso, quando Katherine o pressionou para saber o nome de seu melhor amigo, ele poderia ter dito o nome de seu herói de infância, um cowboy de desenho animado, que se chamava Jack Kelly, o que para ser justo foi seu melhor amigo na infância, mesmo que apenas em sua mente.

E ela ficou tão feliz ao ouvir um nome, enviando-o para Sean Conlon, seu cerimonialista, tão rapidamente, que David nem teve tempo de se arrepender da mentira antes de se ver tendo que inventar uma série de fatos para cobrir isso. Foi assim que Jack Kelly foi formado, amigo de infância de David que gostava de se vestir de Cowboy quando eram mais novos _´´Ele ia a todos os lugares com um chapéu de cowboy e um lenço vermelho´´_ , disse ele, _´´Sempre falando em ir para Santa Fé_ , ele dizia que a cidade grande _não_ era o _seu estilo´´_ ele disse, formando uma história elaborada sobre como assim que ´´amigo´ completou 18 anos, ele pegou um ônibus e foi para Santa Fé, David insistiu que eles ainda estavam conversando, que ele estava animado para ser o padrinho, que ele estava ir para Nova York a tempo do casamento e vi o sorriso no rosto de Katherine ficar cada vez mais brilhante. Os outros ´´amigos´´ surgiram de lá, e David teve que admitir que, sempre que ela pedia nomes, sua mente não podia fazer mais do que associações instantâneas com coisas vistas na época. Specs emergia de uma loja de ótica em frente ao restaurante onde experimentaram o bufê de casamento, Racetrack é criado porque a corrida de cavalos foi transmitida em algum canal da TV do escritório, Finch emergiu do pássaro que dormia na janela do salão que eles visitavam para recepção, _"Era uma coisa entre você e seus amigos, querido? Apelidos? ´´_ E em uma nota menos inspirada, Les torceu o pé jogando basquete e teve que andar com uma muleta por uma semana inteira, que deve ter ficado na cabeça de David porque Crutchie surgiu na próxima vez que ela perguntou.

Dessa forma, Davi conseguiu convencer a noiva de que tinha dez amigos (que ela nunca conhecera) para acompanhar suas muitas damas de honra. E assim ele estava sentado em um sofá, sendo olhado por sua noiva, sua mãe e Sean Conlon, todos com olhares excitados (e intimidantes) quando solicitados pela confirmação de seus padrinhos.

\- Amor, você recebeu as confirmações? - a voz de sua noiva o tirou de seus pensamentos.

\- Ainda não querida, eu te disse como estão os meninos, levando sempre até o último minuto. - respondeu, olhando de um rosto para o outro, foi impressão dele ou ele estava suando? Sean Conlon olhou para ele, estreitando os olhos.

\- Você não pode pelo menos citar os dois últimos, querida? - Sean perguntou, um sorriso amigável que para David parecia um pouco forçado.

\- Só estou… - comecei - Esperando a confirmação deles, não quero dizer que eles estão vindo e acabaram não vindo.

\- Mas os outros estão confirmados certo? Jack, Race e todos os outros? - Katherine perguntou, ficando bem na frente dele enquanto o olhava nos olhos. David engoliu em seco, desviou o olhar antes de dizer.

\- Claro, eles não poderiam estar mais ansiosos.

\- Ótimo! - Katherine bateu palmas de empolgação antes de se voltar para a mãe, discutindo sobre arranjos de flores, guardanapos ou qualquer outra coisa que David em pânico não conseguiu reter.

Conlon ainda estava olhando para ele.

O homem maior acenou com a cabeça, indicando o outro lado da sala, antes de caminhar até lá, claramente esperando que David o seguisse. Olhando por cima do ombro para ver se Katherine ou a mãe notaram o movimento, ele o seguiu. Ele parou na frente de Sean, que cruzou os braços na frente do peito (David não pode deixar de notar o quão forte o outro homem era, mesmo em um suéter de cashmere opaco),

Ele esperou que o outro começasse a falar.

Sean olhou em volta antes de agarrar David pela gola de seu moletom azul marinho

\- A menos que pretenda fugir, você está encrencado, garotão - sussurrou ele de modo que para David soou muito ameaçador.

\- Não sei se entendi - respondeu David, sua voz soando 3 oitavas abaixo do que deveria, para um cara pelo menos 20 centímetros mais baixo que ele, Conlon conseguia ser a pessoa mais intimidadora que já conhecera.

\- Vamos, Jacobs corta o teatro, os nomes dos seus padrinhos parecem ter saído da porra da vila de gergelim.

\- Ela vai me deixar, não diga a ela! - implorou.

\- Ela vai descobrir quando eles não aparecerem no casamento! Alguns deles são reais, pelo menos? - perguntou, afrouxando a coleira que David só percebeu que ainda segurava.

\- Meu irmão, Les. - respondeu ele, abaixando a cabeça, sabendo o quão patético parecia.

\- Foda-se - foi a única resposta.

\- Olha, tudo voou desde que pedi a mão dela! Quase não durmo, não como há meses, só quero vê-la feliz! Eu não queria mentir, mas quando vi já tinha acontecido e agora não tenho ideia de como sair dessa!

\- Ok, eu entendo, você é patético. Essa é a coisa mais óbvia a se dizer, pensou David, mas ficou intimidado demais com a presença que o homem mais baixo se revelou dizer. Sean suspirou antes de continuar.

\- Ok, vou te ajudar. Digamos que eu te enviei.

Os olhos de David se arregalaram quando o outro tirou um cartão do bolso antes de entregá-lo a David, voltando-se para as duas mulheres de cabelos castanhos que olhavam para os enfeites, em um tom que David agora podia ver como falsamente alto e inofensivo. O arranjo do bouquet tres beau é fabuloso! David olhou para o cartão em suas mãos, dizia apenas; **´´Groomsmen.ltda**

**Rua Irving Hall Meadowlark com 92´´**

Bem, ele literalmente não tinha nada a perder.


End file.
